


home is where the heart lies

by teddy_the_bear03



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Crushes, Homesickness, M/M, Nostalgia, Reminiscing, VERY LONG HUGS, almost kisses, gon is baby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-10
Updated: 2019-06-10
Packaged: 2020-04-24 06:15:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19167466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teddy_the_bear03/pseuds/teddy_the_bear03
Summary: The view was so much nicer at home.//Gon misses his old town and life, and reminisces about it while looking at the setting sun. Killua joins him, and feelings ensue. I hope you enjoy!





	home is where the heart lies

**Author's Note:**

  * For [WingSongHalo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WingSongHalo/gifts).



> *rubs hands together evilly* DID I SURPRISE YOU?
> 
> Eeheh, this was written as a birthday present for my darling (but not really) mommy! I love her to bits, and I know she has a soft spot for Killugon, so I figured that this would be a good gift to give her. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it. Happiest birthday <3

The view was pretty.

At least, Gon thought so. It was a nice sunset, in his opinion - the star settled against the horizon like a child tucked into bed, beaming rays of lovely yellows and oranges and pinks against the sky. The rest of the world was bathed in soft light because of it, looking more like an oil painting than reality in which war was waged, but Gon couldn’t blind himself to beauty - he’d already seen too much.

He knew the life of a hunter would’ve been hard, and it was; and he liked most of the hardships. Enjoyed pushing himself to the limit, seeing how far he could go - it showed both himself and everyone who’d ever doubted him that he was stronger than he looked. And he was with Killua, and  _ that _ was always a plus. But there was one thing he missed infinitely, and that was home.

His job was not home. It would never _ be _ home to him - although he found thrill in it, he never found comfort, and comfort he missed. He longed for someplace to rest his head every night, a building he could come back to and bask in the familiarity of, and a place where he could completely relax and unwind. He missed the small town he grew up in, where the sunsets were so, so much prettier - the way they reflected off of the water had settled into his heart.

He wrote letters to Mito every day, but that wasn’t enough - he missed her hugs, the way her arms felt so safe and nice around him, and he missed his great grandmother’s crinkled smiles and cooking. He missed going to school every day, learning the same old boring lessons, because it was routine and it wasn’t dangerous… he  _ knew _ what to expect the next moment, instead of fighting for his life. The world was a food chain and he’d been climbing from the very bottom and it was _ hard _ .

Looking back on it, he’d really taken his previous life for granted. Although he didn’t want it back (he was too experienced for that) he did long for it, longed for simple days and firefly-lit nights where he could capture them in hole-poked jars and stare at them until midnight. He missed when he ran for hours in the woods, gazing at the wild chickens and rabbits with wonder. He missed swinging his legs from the harbor bridge, fishing rod cast into the beautiful, sparkling water, and the childish glee of reeling in a fish bigger than his foot. Every day  _ there _ , he’d dreamed about becoming a hunter; how exciting and real the world would be. And it was - he didn’t regret it. He just wished his footsteps had been a little smaller.

He traces the wire of the balcony he leans against, sun a dying light against his face, and is so lost in his thoughts that he doesn’t hear the door open and someone step up beside him. They’re taller than him by just a hair, and nudge him gently when they cross their arms to mirror Gon’s position. He turns quickly, tensing up, but relaxes when he sees a meaningful smile on their soft features.

“Pretty, huh?” Killua comments softly, already taking measures to not damage the mood between them, and Gon is thankful. He’d been enjoying the quiet. The green-haired boy nods in response, shifting a little closer to the one beside him. After thinking about home for so long, it was nice to have someone near him. They stand in silence for a little while longer, the sky darkening to a twilight, before Killua speaks up again.

“What’re you thinking about?”

Gon sighs, shifting on the ledge. “Home, I guess,” he says, voice more bittersweet than he thought it would be, “I miss it sometimes. The lakes and the warm weather, and the lack of danger.”

Killua snorts. “Must’ve been nice. Have you written to Mito this week?”   


He nods. “I did. It wasn’t enough. It’s hitting me a little harder than usual.”

"Maybe you could write her another one? I know she'd never object to two letters from you."

Gon shakes his head. "It wouldn't help."

The other boy’s blue eyes soften at this, and he tips his head so that he and Gon are in close proximity. “I understand,” he murmurs, gazing down at the earth below them, “I missed you all so, so much when my family didn’t let me see you, and that was only for a few days.” He laughs softly. “I can’t imagine how tough it is. But know that I’m here, yeah?”

Gon refuses to meet the other’s eyes, breath shuddering out of his lungs. That meant more to him that Killua might ever understand. The stars begin to twinkle above them, moon full in the night, and with another little nudge, the white-haired boy gains his attention once more.

“If it makes you feel any better, it’s the same moon as the one back home. That I can promise you.”

Gon laughs softly. It _ does _ make him feel better, even if it’s minimal - his chest feels lighter with the newfound knowledge that it really is the same rock he’d gazed up at years before, begging to be given the chance to become a hunter. He doesn’t know if his younger self would’ve believed that he would be so homesick when he was living his only dream.

“The stars are the same, too,” Killua continues, grinning, “although I can’t promise that all of them are still there. Some of them may have… exploded or something.”   
  
“ _ Exploded?” _ Gon giggles. “That’s awfully violent of you to say. Although, I don’t know why I expected anything different.”   
  
Killua shoves him lightly in mock hurt. “Here I am, trying to cheer you up, and you’re insulting me. How mean!” But his smile says something different, and then Gon is staring a little too long at that smile, and then the feeling in his chest is also something different.

The homesickness is still there, but there’s a warm, heavy feeling settling in alongside it. He’s only ever felt it when Killua was near, when Killua smiles at him or offers a hand to him or catches him looking. It feels like honey, like warm syrup on his great grandmother’s pancakes, like the twitter of the birds in the trees and the reel of his rod in the lake and the bustle of the town marketplace and-

With a growing realization, Gon realizes that Killua feels like home.

It doesn’t shatter his world, nor does it warrant any gasping or crying. It was a nice train of thought, a calming train of thought - and Killua doesn’t object when, after a few beats of stunned silence, his best friend does nothing more than wrap him in a hug. 

Killua’s limbs feel like home, too. They aren’t like Mito’s hugs, which are warm and enveloping - no, this feels gentle, knowing, like his arms fit in all the right places so that Gon can settle into him. It’s foreign, the sensation of affection with Killua - but it’s something that he feels like he could get used to having around.

And when Killua rests his chin on Gon’s shoulder, he feels like he could get used to that, too. The same with the patterns that he traces on his back, and the squeeze of his arms before he pulls away. Especially with the look in his eyes, the soft and caring feeling in them shaking something to Gon’s core, something he’d never seen before inside of those blue orbs, and underneath the same moonlight of all those years, he realizes he wants to  _ kiss _ Killua.

He, of course, doesn’t, because the assassin moves too fast with his dismissive smile and a wave of his hand, but he wishes he could’ve. He wishes he would have felt home on his lips, too, and wishes he would have felt the way Killua sunk into him all over again.

“I’ll give you a few more minutes alone, okay? Dinner’s ready. It’s… it’s just noodles again, though,” Killua laughs, and heads inside, leaving Gon most  _ definitely _ alone and with louder thoughts than the ones before.

Maybe the moon didn’t have all the answers he sought. 


End file.
